Fetish

Okay, I admit it, I have a foot fetish. Praise the Lord it isn't with adult feet, or in a gross manner. :) However, give me baby and toddler feet and I am in love. Seriously! Nothing is cuter to me. Danielle and Mady have THE CUTEST feet ever. Mady is rather stout, so hers are extremely chubby, but when she walks I giggle every time. Danielle has the long second toe, thanks to daddy, and it is so cute to see her walk in some flip flops. My heart melts.

If you have a moment, put in the comment section your baby fetish....

Our Christmas went well and uneventful. I am trying to find my camera adapter so I can upload some cute pictures, but no luck in finding it. If I can't find it by the end of the week, I am buying a new one. So expect a lot of pictures.

God bless.

Christmas...wow!!

I can't believe how quickly Christmas came this year. As always, I am ill prepared and sometimes frantically running about with the other people who said to themselves last year, I will take care of gifts in November. Oh well, again, maybe next year. So here I am, the van half loaded as we are heading to my mom's for one night. The girls will open their gifts from Nana tomorrow morning and by tomorrow afternoon, we are heading back home to have a nice quiet evening of family time. Of course Christmas Day will start early I am sure, but with bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, and french toast, it should be a very nice, quiet day. There will be plenty of gifts to open and hot cocoa with all the fixin's. Oh, and let us not forget about our Christmas dinner, which will be fancy to say the least...filet with ceasar salad and twice baked potatoes, and then some pumpkin pie with whip cream...mmmm.

So with that, we are at the 6 month mark...whew, almost there. I think my biggest struggle is finding clothes. I am not a cute pregnant mama, you know the kind, the thin legs and all basketball belly. NO WAY!! I am the one that it is all hips and butt. I can turn and you would never know which side is which. :) But believe it or not, I am really happy with that this pregnancy, I am just enjoying life. I can't find the time or energy to exercise, but living with stairs, I feel that the amount of time I travel up and down, should count as something. I enjoy my Ghiradelli's mint chocolate a little more, and really at the end of the day, when I prop myself up in my bed with my Bible, I really relish that time. Bret has been the best with it all and really helps out getting everyone off to bed so I can rest and even a few times I have found the bed undone with my pillows and heating pad ready to go. It means a lot to me.

Well, I pray that everyone will have a blessed Merry Christmas. Take a minute out of the chaos and look at your little ones in the eyes and smile and tell them how much you love them. Hug them, praise them, and smile, it makes a difference. Most of all, tell them that Jesus died for them and pray with them often.

God bless.

Christmas is coming...

Christmas is my favorite celebration. First off, it is a time I get to reflect on Jesus' birth. It is truly humbling to my soul to think of the whole thing. Second, I get to get the ones I love gifts. I love gifts, not just for myself, but to see the faces of people who receive them. We don't do Santa. We haven't now for 3 years. It has been so freeing because I am not hiding anything, but gifts. But now the girls really know what we are celebrating. Not some man with a white beard in a red suit giving gifts because they are good. But it is a celebration of Jesus, coming to save us.

So this year we are trying to be good with our budget. So first I ordered some of the cutest, matching, things from Land's End. All 4 girls will be outfitted with matching dresses, and shoes...shshshshsh....don't tell. They are also going to get some fun toys, not junk, but really thought out what they need/want toys. I won't go into that boring detail...but my heart literally skips a beat when I think of the fun things for them.

For my hubby...ooops, can't tell because he reads my blog. :) Sorry honey.

The girls are being creative and making some jewlery for the grandma's, I am making aprons for all the girls for Christmas for our new schedule and chore sheet for next year, and hopefully squeezing in a few outfits too. I got a serger, so that will be delivered shortly and I am really excited to be able to really make things look nice on the inside and outside. :)

One thing I will say, this is something the Lord is really working on me.... I was reading in Isaiah 31:1 this morning a small part that says they trust in themselves and not Me (me being the Lord). I have a hard time of wanting to do things for myself, nothing great, like a weekend away, just sewing, cleaning, organizing, or even just sitting and reading my Bible. So when that time gets interrupted I look at it like an inconvenience and burden instead of an opportunity to serve. The days that I serve and put aside my own selfish ambitions are the days that I am most joyous. I am resting in the Lord's peace, doing what He has called me to do, be a mama first.

So with that said, I pray that we will all put aside our selfish ambitions and truly serve the Lord in peace doing what we were called to do...be mama's.

What I thought was a raisin....

I love laundry. I tell myself that each and everyday that I do laundry. I really don't mind it so much anymore, however, in all honesty, like the floors, it isn't my favorite. Though I do love clean sheets. :)

So this morning I am loading clothes. I am on my last load....towels. I think we go through 7 towels a day. Don't ask me how, I just know that needs to end. I decide to gather up some trash, put shoes in their buckets, and look around for anything else that needs to be thrown in the laundry.

Well, as I scope out the laundry room for anything else, I notice a little blob on the floor. Oh, no big deal I think, it is just a raisin. A raisin doesn't get stuck under the fingernail, a raisin is much more firm, and a raisin does not have an odor that makes one crinkle their nose. So with that said, I am sure you all have figured that one out. Always use a tissue when picking items up off the floor.

A Peaceful Buzz

Well, our excitement has turned to peace as we realized the importance of Hunter staying where he is at. Though my heart wants my entire family to be together, it just isn't so at this time. It is an odd feeling of leading two lives it feels. I have the desire of raising Hunter and the girls, but how do you do that when one is gone and the others aren't? How do you do it when you want to raise up a godly family and one resists? I can only think that the Lord has a great plan, not only for me and my family but for Hunter. Perhaps we will be a testimony of God's love and grace and that will lead to a change in his heart. But I do realize that Hunter isn't mine and perhaps the idea of truly letting go is the hardest. Hunter doesn't want to be here, there is nothing I can do or say that will change his mind, so rather than create much more fuss than necessary, I am willing to leave him, where he is at, happy.

So, off I go raising a housefull of godly girls. I am content with that. And the peace I feel surpasses all else. Have a blessed weekend, I know we will as we put up Christmas decorations and remember what God did for us, through Jesus.

A Happy Buzz

Hunter is coming home on Saturday! That is if everything works out like it should. As much as I want to home school him again, it seems that his heart is to go to school. So, he will finish out 5th grade at the school right down the road...how convenient.

There is a lot of conflict right now, so that isn't easy to bear. But boys things are being brought out, sheets are being washed, comforters are clean, pillows are ready, and the closet has plenty of room for boys clothes, shoes, and some toys. I will be making a big Christmas purchase this year for him. Just to make sure we have enough things to keep him busy.

The girls are making little notes to let him know how excited they are, the fall decorations are down, and time to get ready for Christmas. We are all so excited. I think that the waiting in anticipation for Saturday is the biggest and hardest part right now, the unknown.

Please pray that Saturday will go well, no problems, no conflict, just an easy transfer. Thank you so much.

A Lot Going On...

I am going to vent! I don't do it too often, but a lot is going on and I need to somehow express it or I just might explode!

I am in a fight, I am not sure how I got here, but here I am. The one problem is that I wonder how can I fight and be a Christian, how can I fight and be godly. I am not going to be a doormat any longer, I just won't.

You see at the end of July Hunter went to go live with his dad and go to school. Ever since that decision, I have wondered if it was right. So as I go back and forth with the situation, some red flags popped up in regards to Hunter's schooling. Mainly that now he is in the second quarter his grades are not very good because he isn't doing home work, turning it in on time, and that he isn't memorizing some multiplication. The situation he is in at his dad's really isn't allowing him the time to get all that done. Along with that the communication that his dad and I once had is breaking down. It almost seems like a prideful situation on his part, somewhat like he won.

There are a lot of miscommunication, I will say, mainly on there part. So, I didn't lay down and take it, I didn't just sit there and let Hunter just fall to the wayside, I stepped in, mainly with an email that asked what the next step was with Hunter, now perhaps it was my wording that rubbed the wrong way, I am not sure. But that is how it all started, pointing fingers, a lot of blaming, and now here we are. I am so thankful that I have a court parenting plan with me as sole custodial parent and with all final decision making with me. So Hunter's last day of school with be Friday, he will come home on Saturday.

I am preparing for a huge battle and perhaps even police officers at our arrival. What a sight that would be. But I don't know what else to do. This is for Hunter's soul, not just for him. I feel like I am fighting Satan, I won't let him win. So here I am venting on my blog. I don't do that too often.

I would just ask for prayer. Prayer for protection of Hunter during this week as it is all finalized. Prayer that he would adjust well to being back at home. Prayer that there wouldn't be too much conflict on Saturday. Thank you all.

Cold Day Fun

Okay, school is done, the chores, almost, so what do 3 little girls do when it is cold (56 degrees, cold for Arizona) and don't want to go outside. They take a crib mattress and ride it down the stairs. That is absolutely hilarious. There is so much laughter in the house that I can't help but chuckle. So, when the kids are bored, give them a mattress and a stairs and life will be funny. Just don't try to climb up while they are sliding down....that is an accident waiting to happen.

A Delicious Luxury

One of the greatest pleasures I have each day lately is a hot cup of hot cocoa. But not just any hot cocoa. Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate, Unsweetned. I add that to hot milk, whisk with a little sugar. Top with marshmallows, then whip cream and drizzle some chocolate and carmel sauce. Then I just sit and devour as I am wisked away to la la la land. I am not sure it exists, but for a few moments it does for me. The world is brighter, the children are kinder and life is a little sweeter. Aaahhh.

Pure Smiles

Have you ever had a moment in the day, when it is just crazy and you smile. That is what Mady does for me. Right now as I type she is playing with her baby doll. She may not be able to talk, but I understand every little thing she needs, desires and asks for. She wanted her baby wrapped up in her "luvies". She is going to be a mama one day. Right now she practices on her baby and watches me. She is wrapping her baby, loving her, kissing her, and taking her for rides in the stroller and wagon. What an amazing and awe inspiring responsibility we have as mama's to set the example that our girls are going to follow and our little men, marry. May we all be so blessed as we strive to set the example that we desire in our girls and boys. Have a blessed weekend.

It's A....

Well, it is another girl!!! We were hoping for a little guy, but once I saw the ultrasound and the heart, lips, spine, feet, hands, legs, and all the moving...well, I am hooked and so in love. So as for names, Jennifer Faith is what we have, though that may change.

I am thinking of changing my blog to...A Houseful Of Godly Girls. I will let you know.

God bless.

For Dinner

I think being pregnant affords me the type of food I normally wouldn't eat. I love that. So tonight I am making chicken and rice. But not just your ordinary chicken and rice. Comfy, cheesey, oooeeeyyy goooeeeeyyy rice. So here is the recipe in case you are looking for something quick and easy.

Oooeeeyyyy Goooeeeeyyy Chicken and Rice

2-4 chicken breasts cut into cubes, cooked (depending how much chicken you want)
1 can cream of mushroom
1 can cream of chicken
1/2 tube of Velveeta
1 can of Rotell
1 cup of milk
6-8 cups of cooked rice ( I love white...I know not good, but good)
2 cups of shredded cheese (any kind you like)

Combine all the can items, Velveeta and milk into a microwave safe bowl. Microwave till Velveeta is melted. Take cooked chicken and rice and place in a larger bowl, add the microwaved cheese and mix together. It will be so creamy, its okay to take a bite, it is all cooked. Top with your shredded cheese. Now I use cheddar, but you can use pepper jack for a little more kick. Bake at 350 till the cheese is melted and it is bubbly. Let sit for 5 minutes and dig in. It will be super yummy.

So Much To Learn....

There is a lot that I am learning from my situation with Hunter. I love him so much and really miss him. I really wish a lot that he would have loved being home with us. I really wish that I would have changed a lot of what I needed to change instead of knowing what needed to change and just shove it aside because of my own sinful and selfish self.

I am learning that praise is the best thing that we can do for our children. To overlook their faults and praise them, no matter what. To praise, hug and kiss more than we point out their mistakes. We can pray that the Lord would work in them, but those who praise them are those that have their hearts. I obviously lost that one, though not forever I hope. I heard those words so many times and even today, still have a hard time praising.

Each day I am so thankful to be home with my children, but do they know that, do I scowl more than smile. Absolutely, so much to do and get done. But a smile changes the whole room, a smile brings peace and unconditional love to a heart. A smile says, I love you! Do I say that each day with my face...no way.

Hunter is teaching me that I wish I could change all the things and take back much of what I did to show him just how much I love him. But I can't. I can only move forward. I think that is the hardest part. Trying to retie and undo much of what has been done. I believe in my heart, that it was my lack of listening to God that drove him away. I do believe in my heart, that I still have a chance, but I need to listen and do, not just listen and wish.

I heard over the weekend the importance of choosing joy, no matter what. I need to choose God over how I feel, and in that I will choose His ways and not my own. And for some reason when my eyelids are heavy and I am extremely tired, and just want to be lazy, it is hard. But I am learning so much. I will not drive my children away because of my selfishness and my laziness, but I will draw them to God by my change of heart. I know that each day will be grace filled because I cannot do this on my own, but God changes the heart and the will. Praise be to God!

I hope this encourages you on your journey with your children. I am not perfect, but I have a heart to serve God.

A Peaceful Home

If you want to know how I homeschool, just look at the picture below. The Bible is my one and greatest resource. Everything else really is just filling in the blanks. I love our curriculum. We use ATI for our biggest part and then I have Lauren on SOS (Switched On Schoolhouse) for the other stuff. I love that it allows her to work independently and I can also set the grade expectations and have her do it over again. Until 3rd grade the others work in workbooks. Which is a nice way to really work on handwriting and reading.

Homeschooling to me doesn't always resonate a peaceful home. Especially when you have 2 little ones running around. So taking the advice of some wonderful, godly women I have decided to work in "sitting quiet" training. Though for me Mady might be a little too small, she is doing really well. D and Mady both sit at the table with Lauren and Emma, we do our Bible which takes us about 40 min and then our Wisdom Book, which by then I let them get up. But in all honesty, they are doing wonderful, we can get through the Bible very quietly. I think I get more disturbances from my big people then my littles.
I see funny little things like the one above all the time. But I have to tell you, when my children are placed in akward situations, they don't shy away, but really enjoy talking and sharing with other people, young and old alike. They are wonderfully social and truly enjoy being around others. So when I see that, I always wonder, how do I want my children to be, like others their age, or to be able to handle themselves with multiple ages...homeschooling allows me to do that.
How do I find joy in my house? A schedule. For a long while because of the pregnancy and my lack of energy and motivation I found my children squabbling all the time, in front of the tv and really not handling themselves in a godly manner. I knew what they should be doing, but really didn't have the desire to do it. But this past week I made myself create a new schedule, chore sheet and some other encouragement for the kids and viola! I have a new peaceful house and it has only been 2 days! So if you are discouraged, feeling a little down, have no energy, take heart, make yourself do it, I promise it will be the best thing you could have done!

In the next few days I plan on posting something on a little more serious note. Mainly about the challenges of being a Christian, divorced and having one child living away in the world. It is really what we have been going through as a family and the interesting dynamics. If you know of anyone in the same situation, please have them stop by, I hope to encourage them and take heart. Have a blessed day.

Fall is in the air....

I love sleeping with the windows open. This morning I awoke to 69 degrees in the house. Oh, I love the cool weather. Hot coffee in the morning with my sweater and socks and crocs. My favorite. Jeans, longs sleeves...unfortunately by lunch time we are sweating and tearing off the hot things to put on tank tops and short sleeves. Oh well, life in Arizona. Ever have a hankering for a change? I do. I don't see myself raising my family in Tucson, Arizona forever. I have always longed for the south, weather, changes of the season, and maybe even an accent. Could you imagine. :)

Right now I am revamping our school schedule, chore sheets and even fun ways to encourage the girls and earn some extra money for them. It has been a busy week on the computer. But so worth it to feel like I have accomplished so much. I rearranged furniture, which I only seem to do when I am pregnant. Not sure why that is. :) But the house feels better, papers are being organized and I am cooking more.

This past weekend I celebrated my 34th birthday! I got to eat at all my favorite restaraunts, celebrate a day just with my hubby (and still get home in time to put the little people to bed), and get a pedicure. Oh, if I could just have someone rub my feet all day, I would be in heaven. As for gifts, Bret used to surprise me, but now I just tell him what I want. It works great, eleviates stress from him and I really get the things I would like. Such as DVD's, CD's and books....

We officially find out what the baby is on November 15! We are so praying for a little boy. But with so many girls...that wouldn't be so bad either. Instead of finding out the traditional way, we are going to have them put what the sex is in an envelope, take it to a bakery and have them bake a cake according to the sex, pink or blue, then cover it and we will do a reveal on Thanksgiving when all of our families are together. It should be a lot of fun!

Life moves fast, God moves at His own pace, and I sit in the whirlwind of it all. Hopefully with peace and joy, but sometimes I have to say not. It is amazing how quickly time goes by and even being home every minute, I feel I miss so much.

God has been quiet in my life, He is working and doing much, but is quiet on much as well. So while I pour my heart out to Him and wait in anticipation to see His next move.

Well, off to the park this morning for a little fun. The littles got a cold and there isn't much we can do, but had to cancel a fun playdate, so we will go and be outside and enjoy the cool weather and come home for a good nap.

Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Another few days...

Well, we all got a stomach bug. So as we are on the mend, I am amazed at how quickly patience is tested. I personally do not handle "flexibility" very well and the Lord knows it. So He is so thoughtful to help me learn it with a smile. So today as I go about the many things that need to get done, I pray that I am flexible, peaceful, and smiling along the way.

Have a blessed day.

Well whoever said pregnancy was great, forgot about the first trimester. # 6 hasn't been easy as I run chasing everyone else, leaving housework and life to run amuck. Seriously, no schedule because we moved, Hunter left and then I got sick. The kids have ben reckless and chaotic. But it seems that now my mind just might be out of the fog and looking like major life revamping may be in order.

Life does not slow down to let me catch up and sometimes the task of being a parent is daunting, causing me to spirral into depression very easily. Not dibilitating, just emotionally wearing. But there is always a light and I am thankful that when the energy isn't there to read God's Word and all I can do is lay my head down and cry out small prayers, God hears, and I am covered.

Amidst this craziness, Mady is now walking. She is so cute, it makes my heart melt. Life is slowly coming back into normal, and hopefully the reflections I see in my children, will have me working on myself rather than changing them. Leading by example why is that so hard to do? So I well pick up my emotionally drained heart, get on my knees, beg for mercy and begin again, allowing my circumstances to work in me and learn all that God has in store for me.

God bless, I am back!

Wow! A long time has passed.

Feeling Better

Finally, starting to feel a little bit better. The first trimester, no matter how many times you go through it, just isn't fun! So we went on a little family vacation to San Diego. This is what Oi did that made me laugh so hard, it made me cry.

Yuk...

That is all I can say. I feel so gross. High protein foods seem to help the most and very often, almost every hour or so.

Morning Sickness Has Set In

I enjoy all aspects of pregnancy. Sickness just really teaches me grace. So here are a few things that I have learned to help me ease some of the discomfort.

Motion sickness bands, vit. B 6, candied ginger, lots of water, small meals and whatever I am craving. My old ob told me, "eat what you.crave there is something your body needs." I have followed that and eaten many odd things, but always feel satisfied. So there you have it. 6 weeks along and about 6 more to go.

My Loft / Playroom

This is one of the rooms I fell in love with. Giving the kids plenty of space to play.

My Living Room

I love making a house a home, so this week I will show off different rooms. Today is my living room.

Feeling Overwhelmed

The type of overwhelmed I am talking about isn't due to the "things" that need to be done. My overwhelmed is with the Lord and His blessings upon me.

When Bret had his reversal we made the commitment to the Lord to let Him determine our family size. I think once we made the announcement that we were expecting #6, family now felt they should have a say, and when will enough be enough.

I am not done! As long as I can bear children, I will. I am a willing servant of the Most High King and I serve an awesome God. I am not.worthy of all that He is doing in my life, but He sees more than I do.

I feel overwhelmed with honor that the Lord would visit me again and bestow blessings and grace on a wretched human who messes up more than I do get it right!

Praise the Lord for He is good!

Here comes #6....

We are pregnant with #6, we are officially due April 19.

Happy 8th Birthday Lauren

This is my bold, caring, very passionate, book worm's birthday. I remember her birth so vividly. Tonight it is steak, potatoes and chocolate cake. Mmmmm.

Painting Downstairs

Here is some painting we were working on in the new house.

The Perks of Our New Home

This is one amenity that drew us to our new home.

The New Do

Nothing like change to spice up life. I chop my hair when I need a change.

A Day in My Life

I always wonder what someone else's day looks like. So here is a small glimpse into mine.

Happy 6th Birthday Emma

Happy Birthday Emma. Emma is 6 yrs old and is so sweet and precious. She is nothing but skin and bones, which can also tell you that she does not have thick skin at all. Look at her funny and she crumbles. Tonight is grilled pizzas and vanilla cake, her own seperate one so she can shove her face in it! I love you Emma.

Breakfast

This is who I had the priviledge of having breakfast with this morning.

Moving

Moving is always hard. Lots of boxes and donation piles. I am so excited though, I love change. Even when it is hard. But a change of scenery always does me good. If I had my way I would move to Colorado, Tennesee, or Georgia. Who knows God's plan, but renting sure leaves that open.

My Big Mama Helper

Lauren is an amazing helper. Whatever I need she is cheerfully there to assist. She is growing up so fast. She will be 8 August 10 amd we are all so excited. She loves to read, is so smart and funny and loves to joke around. She has an amazing smile. I love her so.

A Long Journey

No one told me that with all the joys of parenting there is also sorrow. I had my first breakdown since Hunter going to live with his dad. I was sobbing, my poor husband. I know that the Lord has a plan for him and loves him. I am walking on a journey of peace like a river and to trust and obey.

I have 4 blessings that need to see the Lord working to bring glory to Himself through this situation. May we glorify Him.

Happy 3rd Birthday Danielle

Well today we celebrated our first reversal baby's birthday. Dinner was lasagna with salad and green beans, dessert was a cinderella birthday cake. Her movie of choice was none other than The Duggars, praise the Lord I have them all taped.

The Sweetest 13 Month Old Ever

She is so cute! She is independant, a great sleeper, loves her paci. She loves to smile and laugh, but hates being in the car. She is a picky eater, but oh well. I am so thankful that the Lord gave her to me. Here she is eating one of her favs, spaghetti.

God's Timeline

Well, an offer has been made on the house. Because of our situation, we don't even have to worry, it goes straight to the bank. So that is the nice part. It does take time and I am thankful for the family that put the offer in, that they are so kind to be patient. We are so thrilled. I am praying it goes quickly so that we can go ahead and find the area we would like to rent in.

The kids are awesome!! I can't believe that Mady turned one and is such a joy. She is so sweet. She has moved into the room with Hunter. They really are so sweet to one another. Hunter has been with his dad now for 2 weeks and he seems to be doing really well. We have been really doing well. School is taking a lighter version as I learn some more and change again our style of learning and schedule to fit the changing needs of our growing family.

Bret is still taking his CPA class and all is going well. It has been quite a journey as we come over to Phoenix every weekend so that way we can be close. The girls have been enjoying swimming all day on Saturday. I have been enjoying laying out and getting a little color. :) Bret really loves that.

I started a Bible study with my friends, Beth Moore's, "The Ascent of Psalms." So far, because we are only one week into it, it is very good. It talks about song and how we truly rejoice in songs. Our souls were created to the angels singing, so it would be natural that songs/music could encompass our being in a way that words can't. But to be careful to know the words you are listening to. Whether contemporary Christian or good old fashion hymns. So far, the one thing I got out of it, was how God is always so pleased and rejoicing when we are taking steps of success to being closer to him. It has been a great encouragement.

Summer has been going, we are slowly starting to pack and I am starting with the garage. That is a challenge. I am really just enjoying hanging out with my girls and starting to revamp our learning style.

God bless to you all. Have a blessed week.

Way too long...

Well, life is full of many surprises. Especially when you are serving an Awesome God! I never know the full plan of my life, but I know that I am a servant for the Lord first and foremost. And when the chaos of life throws itself at me, well, I know where I stand...most days.

It seems that Hunter has gone to live with his dad for the summer on a trial period. The joy that has filled our home has been immense. For those that aren't divorced or in a situation of shared parenting, it is hard to understand this decision. Hunter, it seems has a syndrome..."the grass is greener". So we let him experience with a little net of security. He may choose to be there permanently, but I am at peace with where the Lord has taken this situation.

Another bend in the road has been that we have to short sell our home. It wasn't planned at all, but with a loss in some income for my husband, it seems to be our only option. We knew when we purchased this home that we should rent, but rather than listen, we are now eating our consequences. :) But the Lord has been good and it was on the market for less than 2 days there was a offer. A wonderful family with three boys. Our backyard will be perfect for them.

We will look for an option to rent only and hopefully something a lot less than our mortgage and start paying down our debt. That is our number one priority. If we really buckle down we can do it in 2 years!! I am so excited.

Along with this move, we may put the internet back in the home. Not quite for sure, but maybe on my phone. :)

The kids are doing great and Mady's first birthday was yesterday! I cannot believe it. She is a miracle and I am so thankful for the Lord's blessing our family.

So here we are, the short version. Perhaps later I will write more in detail.

One Week and Counting...

I am counting this past week as a week of missing something. I didn't realize how much time I spent on the computer till all the frills were gone. Now I have more time to really focus on the kids, character training, discipline, reading, laughing, playing, and just really enjoying the small moments. I can't believe how much time has gone by.

So at the end of the day I am here at the library. I am really trying hard to remain focused on our goal and not what I am missing out on. I do miss the people, it does get rather lonely with it just being me. With Mady being on such a great schedule I do miss out on a lot of my other mom's groups because I am not willing to mess with the schedule. It has been hard.

It really makes me keep things in perspective, and really keeps me on my knees. It helps me to be creative and really stay on top of things, because I do not have anything else to get int he way of that. There are things I miss, but I really feel that the Lord will bless my heart and the goal that we have of being debt free.

Mady is 10 months old now and crawling everywhere! She loves the freedom. Emma, Lauren and Hunter are all doing awesome in school and the summer will be here before we know it. It will be busy as we will continue with year round school this year. We have found 2 rattlers in the yard and it has been fun. The garden is growing and I can't wait to have the extra time to plant more things. Danielle is just sweet as can be.

We are all well after 2 weeks of sickness...fevers, coughs, ear infections, sinus infections, and just allergies. I am glad to be on the mend. I hope to post more, but little one is fussing and my time is almost up. Life is good, my heart is full and my eyes are on the Lord. God bless.

A Debt Ladder

Today I spent some time on the computer making a debt ladder. Taking our credit cards and putting them in order from least to greatest. Then I added the $200/month savings from disconnecting our internet and phone to our lowest credit card bills monthly payment. Going from $100 to $300/month. So basically in 6 months I will have that one paid off, then I will roll the $300 to the next one and move up the ladder.

There are a few options, the first one is that our car will be paid off in 2 1/2 years. So that is exciting as we get higher on our ladder and need that money, it cuts our time down by 1 year. And because we do owe to the government, hopefully we can negotiate and then that can lower it another year. So we are excited.

Seeing it written down does help to keep us focused and it doesn't seem so daunting.

My goal is to print it out and put it on fancy paper and then tape it up by my bed so I can have my focus be on that, and pray over it each night.

So within 4-5 years we could be completely debt free, only house and 1 car and then some regular monthly bills. Oh what the Lord will have us do with the money He is freeing. I can't wait. I hope to encourage others in this venture as well.

God bless.

Priorities

Not quite sure if I am going to give up my blog. I love sharing much of who I am. I am not perfect and I like showing that to people...just in case you think otherwise. :) We are for sure going to get rid of our internet and phone at home. Life is changing drastically at our home.

We are in debt, it isn't a happy place to be and the burden is much to bear. So with that, we are going to sacrifice in every little area that doesn't matter and then pay off our debt. So, perhaps what I will do is chronicle what we are doing. Giving you the truth and nothing but the truth and the nitty gritty, so that way, if you are challenged or convicted you can maybe glean from our past mistakes.

Our first big thing is we no longer have our credit cards...they are gone...all of them. We have sat down and looked at our bills and have seen where most of our money went...oops that is my fault, eating out, Starbucks and Target. (Who doesn't love Target.) So we now know where to cut back, we haven't gone out to eat since we put our bills in order, though over the weekend, Bret and I did go on a date. We did eat out, though it was happy hour at our favorite restaraunt, so that helped a great deal.

I will chronicle our credit cards and the debt we owe on my next post. But for now, the first step was for us to get rid of all the little things...phone, internet, cable/dish, weight watchers online, Onstar, internet on hubby's cell phone, lowered our minutes, lowered anything that we paid for monthly that was excess. It has been amazing that we saved over $200/month just on that alone! We also have really put a tight reign on our groceries and have a set budget...

So here we are. The next post just might be at the library, or hubby's computer at work when I visit him. Praise the Lord I can type fast. :)

God bless.

Isolationism, Fear and Addiction

Well, this is a heavy topic, but one that my heart has been led to talk about. Mainly because it is just now that I feel comfortable with where I am at, where the Lord has taken me and how he has taken me there.

My goal has always been to be a great mom. Not just the kind that stays home with here kids, but the kind that interacts, loves and kisses her kids. I want to encourage them, disciple them, train them, etc. But I will share with you what keeps me from all of that.

My computer, my emails, my facebook, my blog. Other things are more important and get in the way. Other things make my heart more selfish and long more for "me" time then for the important things...my children.

I have known this about myself for a long time. So long in fact that the Lord really spoke to my heart many times before about my problem. You see having a large family is great, full of so much fun and surprises, but it also can lead to, for me, fear of being alone. I am a huge people person, so my fear is not having people around me. Besides my children.

So how does my title play into where the Lord is leading me right now...well, when you are a people person and have a little one who nurses and is on a tight schedule come the evening not really allowing me too much time, you fall into a rountine that usually involves the same thing and you can't do much outside of that. When you have little ones who are sick and you miss a few weekends at church, where your family is, you feel a little isolated when you come back. The fear of the unknown.

That one is big. You see we are at a crossroads. The Lord has showed us that we are missing blessings because of the debt we have over our heads. So we are cutting back, I mean really cutting back. To the point of no land line, no internet, and many others. I don't mind it because I know that in the end we are following the Lord's promptings. We can then enjoy the Lord's blessing because we are doing what He has asked of us. But there is fear of not knowing what to do, so much is being taken away, so there is fear.

My addiction to the computer has also brought up the fear and isolationism. You fall into a rut of doing the same thing, you fall into a rut of just going through the motions. The fear of finances. I don't want that fear anymore and am willing to sacrifice all my creature comforts for us to successfully get out of that debt. It may take a few years, but it will be well worth it in the end!

I am excited to see where the Lord is leading us. It won't be easy, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel, I see the silver lining and it is so much more beautiful without the burdens.

Don't worry I will give warning before I just disconnect.

Just Fun Happenings

Life goes by fast. Blink an eye and my 9 1/2 month old is trying to crawl. My 2 1/2 year old is trying to go potty by herself, and my 5 year old is learning so much more each day!

Life is hectic and I am learning the preciousness of enjoying and savouring each moment. The good ones and the bad ones. The good ones are filled with laughter and love, the bad ones, lessons that are learned and humbling of spirits.

Here are some fun photos we took the past couple of days.

Lauren on our walk to Sabino Canyon. It was so beautiful outside and the sun was shining with a cool breeze. She is growing up so fast. She is so beautiful on the inside and outside.

Hunter and Lauren. Theyare so cute together. They really enjoy playing together. I love them so much.

My hubby and 3 of the girls. This is water run off from the snow melt. It was really high and rushing today. This spot had some beautiful rocks to hike through and there was even a bat on the side of a rock. (Not the one they are sitting on :))

Amidst the desert there is green, lush green. The kind of green that reminds me of living in Colorado - my favorite place.

More lush green. There was such a clean, sweet smell in the air. It was so refreshing.

My hubby and myself, with Emma. We had such a nice walk. We walked 3 miles!

Lauren, Emma and Hunter. They are so cute! I can't wait to have more!

This is what a 15 passenger van looks 1/2 full. :) There are plenty of empty seats for more blessings.

This is what happens to a baby when she is having way too much fun in the bathroom. She was trying to reach for anything she could within eyes sight. It was too funny.

"Look mommy, look." "What are you eating D?"

"Dis mommy, dis."

"Cheeeeze."

Bread pudding before a 2 year old found it and devoured almost 1/4 of it! I couldn't believe how much she loved it! It was so tasty. I will definitely make that one again.

Well, these were just a few pics of a few days in the life of me. Nothing too exciting, but you know what full of love and memories. Tonight a wonderful movie with my hubby and a nice and quiet evening...well, hopefully if the kids will go off to bed. :)

Good night and God bless.

Shepherd Bread

I love making new bread. Sourdough just hasn't worked out for me, so I tried this bread with a biga which is similar to sourdough. Oh my was it so tasty! And so easy. The only thing I would do different is shape it but not in a loaf pan.

Night Before:

1/4 tsp yeast

1 c. warm water

2 c. flour

Cover with plastic wrap and set aside for baking day. If it isn't used in 24 hours, refrigerate.

Baking Day:

Add 1/2 tsp yeast, 2 c. warm water, 1 tbs salt. Mix in 4-5 c. flour (white, wheat, or 1/2 and 1/2). Knewad, place in greased bowl, let rise until double in size, about an hour in warm oven. Shape into 2 loaves and let rise until doubled. Preheat oven to 475- then turn down to 400 once you place bread in oven. Bake 40-45 min. Let rest 10 min, then place on cooling rack.

This is the biga the following morning.

This is the flour and other ingredients being stirred together. My lovely assistant Emma.

This is the dough being placed in a well greased bowl to rise in the oven.

I am sorry I don't have the pic of the fluffy dough, but here it is shaped in the loaf pans. Next time like I said I will just shape them and let them rise on a cookie sheet.

The final product! The crust is crispy and the inside is so chewy and delicious. I will definitely add this to my bread recipes. It doesn't rise fast like a regular bread, so I realy think just shaping it will work out great!

I hope you will try it.

Oh, by the way I strained my 2nd batch of yogurt with a tea cloth and the thicker yogurt was definitely a hit. Now, what to do with all the whey left behind. I will do some research and let you know.

Hope you enjoy.