Real Life For Me

WHAT DIVORCE DOES.

You know, I have been wanting to write out a post to describe what time is like when Hunter is here and when he isn't. Hunter goes 2 weekends a month to Phoenix to visit his dad. It is usually from a Friday to Sunday or Friday to Monday. Then in the summer his dad gets 6 weeks, which is usually divided into 3/2 week segments. This summer we are trying something different and hopefully it will work out well, and then over the new school year, hopefully trying something different that will work out well too.

When Hunter is here for an extended period of time, he grows in character and personality. He is happy, affectionate, hard working (sometimes), and all around a wonderful brother and son. Then he will leave for his weekend at his dad's, where there is no responsibility, he has no chores, no siblings, and life is filled with entertainment (video games, movies, tv, etc. ), the things we don't have at home.

If he is gone for the weekend the adjustment period doesn't take too long, he is back to his normal happy self. I don't cut him any slack as we have been doing this for 8 years now. He just has to jump right back into the groove of things, and for him, it works.

Well, this past week, he was gone for the entire week. It is hard on me because I rely on him so much for so many things. It is hard on the girls because he is their best friend. Lauren will wear his jammies, sneak into his room, and make him picutres while he is gone. Emma just follows Lauren and Danielle she just calls and looks for "bubba".

But when he comes home, it is as though my sweet boy has been transformed into something that I don't desire at all. I want nothing more than for my children to know God, love him and serve him. But when he comes home, I have to undo all that has been done. And Hunter's dad has no clue, no clue at all to the boy he was when he left and what he comes home to be. The saddest part of it all is that he doesn't care, and even if he voices his care, he does nothing about it.

So last night as we are trying to get our family back to normal we usually have girls who are very prophetic, telling Hunter right from wrong, Hunter defending himself and the reasons why he chooses not the best for himself. It is an adjustment for us all.

My goal in this isn't to get sympathy, but perhaps to encourage you to know that divorce isn't God's best. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, the blessings, the love, and the way I know God now. He knew this road long before I did, and it isn't easy. I don't get to see the same fruit in Hunter that I do in my girls. There is a lot more conflict between Hunter and I than the girls, but I know in the end he will see the difference as he already does. We just pray and hit our knees a lot.

Hope this gives you a little insight...

Blessings~