Life has been pretty hectic around here. I have to say that getting used to #5 has taken some gettting used to. I love Madeline and all the children, but to not have as much of me to give takes some getting used to. Or the fact of losing a little more of me takes a little getting used to, scratch that A LOT getting used to. I wasn't prepared at all for the extra demands, not only physically but emotionally and it has taken its toll!
What I really wanted to do was runaway, get a tattoo, and lay out by the beach, though my body may not look that good right now. :) Physically I have always been in shape and strong and my desire is to get back there quickly, but I have a feeling that this may be a long, slow process.
For me it has been a roller coaster and I am so thankful for my wonderful friends who have encouraged me and prayed for me. This has been the first time that I said I am done with having children, am I really? No, I just needed to vent and know that it was okay. A large family takes work, creativity and most of all lots of love from a husband and wife who truly adore each other. Praise the Lord I have that!
So as I go on this journey from feeling alone, abandoned by God and feeling dark, I am now seeing the light and joy. I am sorry it has been so long and it won't be this long again. For now please don't leave any rude comments as this has been a hard journey, what I would care for is your prayer for continued joy in my life and the ease of letting God rule.
Have a blessed evening!
Friday, July 10, 2009
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2 comments:
I was wondering how things were going! Poor thing you just need a big hug and some encouragement that everything is going to be okay. I admire the patience and diligence that you have. I look up to you and your standard is really high! I hope I can do half as good as you have. Its okay knowing that we are all human right? I wish I was a little more open on my posting, but I am still learning that. :) Love you and may God bless you this weekend with Brett and the kids.
Thannk you! I really believe that God calls us to be transparent because we want to show non-believers that we are just like them, just blessed to be saved! I am so thankful for God and his strength.
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