A Lot Going On...

I am going to vent! I don't do it too often, but a lot is going on and I need to somehow express it or I just might explode!

I am in a fight, I am not sure how I got here, but here I am. The one problem is that I wonder how can I fight and be a Christian, how can I fight and be godly. I am not going to be a doormat any longer, I just won't.

You see at the end of July Hunter went to go live with his dad and go to school. Ever since that decision, I have wondered if it was right. So as I go back and forth with the situation, some red flags popped up in regards to Hunter's schooling. Mainly that now he is in the second quarter his grades are not very good because he isn't doing home work, turning it in on time, and that he isn't memorizing some multiplication. The situation he is in at his dad's really isn't allowing him the time to get all that done. Along with that the communication that his dad and I once had is breaking down. It almost seems like a prideful situation on his part, somewhat like he won.

There are a lot of miscommunication, I will say, mainly on there part. So, I didn't lay down and take it, I didn't just sit there and let Hunter just fall to the wayside, I stepped in, mainly with an email that asked what the next step was with Hunter, now perhaps it was my wording that rubbed the wrong way, I am not sure. But that is how it all started, pointing fingers, a lot of blaming, and now here we are. I am so thankful that I have a court parenting plan with me as sole custodial parent and with all final decision making with me. So Hunter's last day of school with be Friday, he will come home on Saturday.

I am preparing for a huge battle and perhaps even police officers at our arrival. What a sight that would be. But I don't know what else to do. This is for Hunter's soul, not just for him. I feel like I am fighting Satan, I won't let him win. So here I am venting on my blog. I don't do that too often.

I would just ask for prayer. Prayer for protection of Hunter during this week as it is all finalized. Prayer that he would adjust well to being back at home. Prayer that there wouldn't be too much conflict on Saturday. Thank you all.

Cold Day Fun

Okay, school is done, the chores, almost, so what do 3 little girls do when it is cold (56 degrees, cold for Arizona) and don't want to go outside. They take a crib mattress and ride it down the stairs. That is absolutely hilarious. There is so much laughter in the house that I can't help but chuckle. So, when the kids are bored, give them a mattress and a stairs and life will be funny. Just don't try to climb up while they are sliding down....that is an accident waiting to happen.

A Delicious Luxury

One of the greatest pleasures I have each day lately is a hot cup of hot cocoa. But not just any hot cocoa. Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate, Unsweetned. I add that to hot milk, whisk with a little sugar. Top with marshmallows, then whip cream and drizzle some chocolate and carmel sauce. Then I just sit and devour as I am wisked away to la la la land. I am not sure it exists, but for a few moments it does for me. The world is brighter, the children are kinder and life is a little sweeter. Aaahhh.

Pure Smiles

Have you ever had a moment in the day, when it is just crazy and you smile. That is what Mady does for me. Right now as I type she is playing with her baby doll. She may not be able to talk, but I understand every little thing she needs, desires and asks for. She wanted her baby wrapped up in her "luvies". She is going to be a mama one day. Right now she practices on her baby and watches me. She is wrapping her baby, loving her, kissing her, and taking her for rides in the stroller and wagon. What an amazing and awe inspiring responsibility we have as mama's to set the example that our girls are going to follow and our little men, marry. May we all be so blessed as we strive to set the example that we desire in our girls and boys. Have a blessed weekend.

It's A....

Well, it is another girl!!! We were hoping for a little guy, but once I saw the ultrasound and the heart, lips, spine, feet, hands, legs, and all the moving...well, I am hooked and so in love. So as for names, Jennifer Faith is what we have, though that may change.

I am thinking of changing my blog to...A Houseful Of Godly Girls. I will let you know.

God bless.

For Dinner

I think being pregnant affords me the type of food I normally wouldn't eat. I love that. So tonight I am making chicken and rice. But not just your ordinary chicken and rice. Comfy, cheesey, oooeeeyyy goooeeeeyyy rice. So here is the recipe in case you are looking for something quick and easy.

Oooeeeyyyy Goooeeeeyyy Chicken and Rice

2-4 chicken breasts cut into cubes, cooked (depending how much chicken you want)
1 can cream of mushroom
1 can cream of chicken
1/2 tube of Velveeta
1 can of Rotell
1 cup of milk
6-8 cups of cooked rice ( I love white...I know not good, but good)
2 cups of shredded cheese (any kind you like)

Combine all the can items, Velveeta and milk into a microwave safe bowl. Microwave till Velveeta is melted. Take cooked chicken and rice and place in a larger bowl, add the microwaved cheese and mix together. It will be so creamy, its okay to take a bite, it is all cooked. Top with your shredded cheese. Now I use cheddar, but you can use pepper jack for a little more kick. Bake at 350 till the cheese is melted and it is bubbly. Let sit for 5 minutes and dig in. It will be super yummy.

So Much To Learn....

There is a lot that I am learning from my situation with Hunter. I love him so much and really miss him. I really wish a lot that he would have loved being home with us. I really wish that I would have changed a lot of what I needed to change instead of knowing what needed to change and just shove it aside because of my own sinful and selfish self.

I am learning that praise is the best thing that we can do for our children. To overlook their faults and praise them, no matter what. To praise, hug and kiss more than we point out their mistakes. We can pray that the Lord would work in them, but those who praise them are those that have their hearts. I obviously lost that one, though not forever I hope. I heard those words so many times and even today, still have a hard time praising.

Each day I am so thankful to be home with my children, but do they know that, do I scowl more than smile. Absolutely, so much to do and get done. But a smile changes the whole room, a smile brings peace and unconditional love to a heart. A smile says, I love you! Do I say that each day with my face...no way.

Hunter is teaching me that I wish I could change all the things and take back much of what I did to show him just how much I love him. But I can't. I can only move forward. I think that is the hardest part. Trying to retie and undo much of what has been done. I believe in my heart, that it was my lack of listening to God that drove him away. I do believe in my heart, that I still have a chance, but I need to listen and do, not just listen and wish.

I heard over the weekend the importance of choosing joy, no matter what. I need to choose God over how I feel, and in that I will choose His ways and not my own. And for some reason when my eyelids are heavy and I am extremely tired, and just want to be lazy, it is hard. But I am learning so much. I will not drive my children away because of my selfishness and my laziness, but I will draw them to God by my change of heart. I know that each day will be grace filled because I cannot do this on my own, but God changes the heart and the will. Praise be to God!

I hope this encourages you on your journey with your children. I am not perfect, but I have a heart to serve God.

A Peaceful Home

If you want to know how I homeschool, just look at the picture below. The Bible is my one and greatest resource. Everything else really is just filling in the blanks. I love our curriculum. We use ATI for our biggest part and then I have Lauren on SOS (Switched On Schoolhouse) for the other stuff. I love that it allows her to work independently and I can also set the grade expectations and have her do it over again. Until 3rd grade the others work in workbooks. Which is a nice way to really work on handwriting and reading.

Homeschooling to me doesn't always resonate a peaceful home. Especially when you have 2 little ones running around. So taking the advice of some wonderful, godly women I have decided to work in "sitting quiet" training. Though for me Mady might be a little too small, she is doing really well. D and Mady both sit at the table with Lauren and Emma, we do our Bible which takes us about 40 min and then our Wisdom Book, which by then I let them get up. But in all honesty, they are doing wonderful, we can get through the Bible very quietly. I think I get more disturbances from my big people then my littles.
I see funny little things like the one above all the time. But I have to tell you, when my children are placed in akward situations, they don't shy away, but really enjoy talking and sharing with other people, young and old alike. They are wonderfully social and truly enjoy being around others. So when I see that, I always wonder, how do I want my children to be, like others their age, or to be able to handle themselves with multiple ages...homeschooling allows me to do that.
How do I find joy in my house? A schedule. For a long while because of the pregnancy and my lack of energy and motivation I found my children squabbling all the time, in front of the tv and really not handling themselves in a godly manner. I knew what they should be doing, but really didn't have the desire to do it. But this past week I made myself create a new schedule, chore sheet and some other encouragement for the kids and viola! I have a new peaceful house and it has only been 2 days! So if you are discouraged, feeling a little down, have no energy, take heart, make yourself do it, I promise it will be the best thing you could have done!

In the next few days I plan on posting something on a little more serious note. Mainly about the challenges of being a Christian, divorced and having one child living away in the world. It is really what we have been going through as a family and the interesting dynamics. If you know of anyone in the same situation, please have them stop by, I hope to encourage them and take heart. Have a blessed day.