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After having Mady life changed...a lot! I am still adjusting to life and God has revealed to me a lot of my own selfishness. Now don't get me wrong, I think that a woman, wife, and mother should and must have time for herself to be able to recoup and just rediscover herself. It is so easy to get lost in the daily grind and miss out on who God created you to be.
Many people I know feel that children are a blessing, and indeed they are, however, I am wondering where in the Bible it is commanded that you have children till you can't anymore? To be honest in my quest I found nothing that states that at all.
So, here I am wondering if I am done, should I be done and scared to death at the moment of another pregnancy. I want to enjoy so much the blessing the Lord has given me, I want to smile and laugh, be joyful and funny. Right now I don't have that. If we add another one I don't know what kind of mother I will be. I don't want to be harried or frumpy, I don't want to be grumpy and too busy to build and nuture relationships. When you wake up in the morning not joyful, then you have to re-evaluate your situation and come up with a solution.
I feel that for me, God didn't give me the multitasking ability when it comes to juggling a large family. I personally, physically and emotionally can only handle so much. What is important to me is to be a good steward with what the Lord has given to me.
Many people have thier convictions and it becomes a problem when you take on other's convictions and they are not your own. I want the Lord to direct me and I want to honor Him and His Word.
I hope this helps anyone else in this situation or even thinking about it. I don have some wonderful scripture and study notes that I can pass on from my wonderful Pastor if anyone is interested just let me know.
God Bless