Here They Come!

Well, everyone is so tired and they have now made it to the airport in Nebraska. They are all so excited to come home and my mom has left. I had some lunch, took a little nap and the 2 little ones are still resting quietly. So I thought I would jump on really quick.

I am so excited for everyone to be home under one roof tonight. It was so great having my mom here with me and hanging out and watching romantic comedies (my favorite).

Tomorrow my little Emma turns 5!!! Can you believe it. I know I can't. She is so precious and sweet. I got her a little bucket of mini pink roses, a magnet doll that she can dress and she gets to pick her dinner, which is hot dogs, with chocolate cake. So it will be a really fun day tomorrow.

Also, my mother in law was back in Nebraska, well she did my laundry for me, so that way when everyone got home I had clean clothes instead of piles of dirty laundry. She was so sweet for doing that. I will have to send a thank you card. :)

Life is life right now, nothing too exciting. It is 107 degrees outside and I stay inside most of the time. Though the pool does beckon, Mady doesn't give me too much opportunity to go and use it. There is much to ponder and wonder though. But time will only tell.

One of my dreams is to have a working ranch/farm. So many people have dreams, then they die and there dreams were just that. I don't want this to be that kind of dream. So that is our goal. Move somewhere else, and live in the middle of nowhere with cows, bulls, horses, chickens, goats, a garden, and maybe a small orchard. We will see. I know God directs our paths, but I believe that He also allows us the creativity to be who we are and lets us savor our dreams.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful hump day! God bless.

1/2 The Family Is Gone...

What will I do with myself? My 3 kids and daddy are gone to Nebraska to visit his grandma. We decided that I should stay behind with the 2 little ones. And to be honest I am glad I did. Mady is having a really bad case of reflux and there is nothing like my mom being here, hanging out and just being in my own environment.

The kids are having a blast. Grandma lives right on the lake, so they basically just walked right out to go swimming and have been every day all day... except today, they went to the zoo. They are all having a blast.

I really miss my best friend though, I can't wait for him to come home so I can kiss him and love him. He is so special to me.

My mom and I have been eating really well and watching many girly chick flicks. When she got here Saturday we watched "50 First Dates", yesterday it was "Sweet Home Alabama", and tonight, "Never Been Kissed." Can I just say, "awwww!" It has been nice.

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On a side note, life has been a little gray. There is so much beckoning all the time, the fact that I shower is amazing. You know one of my "little things" is that I don't ever want to be a frumpy mom, I really want to always look amazing for my husband. I know he loves that! I love working out and being strong, feeling strong, having muscles. Right now, well, let's just say cellulite rules!! :)

Life with 5 is crazy and hectic, busy from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed. Most days I have no time for me, Bret, or anything else for that matter. God feels very distant and far, it is almost like He isn't there. I know He is, and I am sure He is just letting me throw my fit. But I am sorting through life.

There are so many questions on my heart right now:
Am I done with having children?
How can I find time for myself?
What about enjoying my children and being a joyful mother of children?
Time to enjoy the Lord, how do I do that?
What about the time to keep nurturing my relationship with my husband?
Am I truly a Christian with all that I know about children and they are a blessing, but just not quite sure?
Family vacations?
Schooling?
How does life work right now when it is so hectic? Crazy? And seems so disorganized?

I know that many of these questions I am thinking of will leave once Mady grows out of this difficult stage. I have never had a child like this, so it is definitely wearing. I am so glad for the love and support of friends, my mom and most of all, my darling husband.

I am just being open and honest. I feel that the best way to be is transparent. I will always wear my heart on my sleeve and don't keep too much inside. Thanks for listening.

God bless all of you, enjoy the day.

Happenings!

Danielle's birthday was great! She loved it and had no idea why she got a cake, some presents and singing. I love that. I think it was more for us than for her.

Here is the whole gang together...

Just the girls minus one...maybe next year.

Hunter and D. They really love each other.


There she is saying..."cheese."

Eating her cupcake. Though everyone else was trying to get her to smash her face in it. She just wanted to pick it up and eat it.

Such a little lady.

Okay, now comes the owie. This morning Hunter took her for a ride in the wagon, and decided not to listen to mom, even though she told him to be careful, well. He chose not to listen and D fell out of the wagon onto the pavement. She landed on her face. She is doing fine, though a little sore.

Owie....

Owies....

She came in crying and just wanted to be held, at the same time Mady decided she was hungry right now... So needless to say it was one of those times I wish I had an extra set of hands and hips. :)

Bret and the 3 big kids are packed for their trip to Nebraska for 5 days. They leave early tomorrow morning and my mom is coming down so we can hang out and watch romantic comedies and eat ice cream.... :)

Have a blessed weekend.

It's A Go...

I started a business called www.thegreenpamperedbaby.com. It focuses on cloth diapers and baby accessories. Nothing is loaded on the site yet, but it is up and running. If you have a chance please check it out.

It's A Birthday!

Happy 2nd Birthday to Danielle!

This is Danielle last year at her first birthday! She has grown so much. We can't believe it. Today we celebrate her 2nd birthday! Funfetti cake for dessert, chicken, rice and beans for dinner, and a couple presents. She won't even know what happened. :) That's the best part.

Mady is doing well and adjusting well. Or should I say that we are adjusting well. Everyday there is something that gets better and we find another little thing that helps.

Yesterday we picked up our food from our co-op. If you have a chance to do organic foods from a co-op I really recommend it. Thios was my first time and the food is delicious and the kids love all the new things, knowing that it is healthy for them. I even feel good knowing that they are eating well.

Well, dinner is cooking, cake is cooling, baby is sleeing, Lauren is waiting for a tooth to fall out, the kids are heading out swimming, and Danielle is sitting next to me.

Hope you all have a blessed day!

Swings Are Great!!

I just wanted you all to know that Mady has colic and is highly sensitive to milk products. She cries and cries and sometimes just wants to suckle on mom, which is great when I have the time. However, sometimes I can't always have her on me. So I found my swing and she LOVES it!! It is so awesome to have her so happy and content. So along with mom avoiding all milk products and being very careful in what I eat and a swing, life is so good and God is so patient and faithful with a sinner like me. :)

So my advice is, when you think you have it figured out, God throws you for a loop. :)

Life

Lauren is such a delight and will be such a great mommy one day. She loves helping with Mady and holding her, especially when mom really needs her. And there is no complaining from Mady either!

Here is Mady's foot at 3 weeks old.

Over July 4th weekend. We had so much fun just sitting out by the pool.

Mady at 3 weeks, July 4th. I can't believe now she is almost 5 weeks. She is just growing and is so loved by all of us.


Look at that face!! That is the face of pure contentment, or I was just screaming and I won. :)

Life is slowly getting into a routine, which I really appreciate. I thrive on a schedule as I am finding. So I am excited to get back to school. This weekend is the Arizona Homeschool Convention which we will be attending. This will be my first time and I am excited to hear some speakers and just take a look around.

Also, on a different note, I have started a business. Now it is just getting put together, so once there is more put in place I will let you all know. :)

Have a blessed afternoon.

I can't believe how long it has been...

Life has been pretty hectic around here. I have to say that getting used to #5 has taken some gettting used to. I love Madeline and all the children, but to not have as much of me to give takes some getting used to. Or the fact of losing a little more of me takes a little getting used to, scratch that A LOT getting used to. I wasn't prepared at all for the extra demands, not only physically but emotionally and it has taken its toll!


What I really wanted to do was runaway, get a tattoo, and lay out by the beach, though my body may not look that good right now. :) Physically I have always been in shape and strong and my desire is to get back there quickly, but I have a feeling that this may be a long, slow process.


For me it has been a roller coaster and I am so thankful for my wonderful friends who have encouraged me and prayed for me. This has been the first time that I said I am done with having children, am I really? No, I just needed to vent and know that it was okay. A large family takes work, creativity and most of all lots of love from a husband and wife who truly adore each other. Praise the Lord I have that!


So as I go on this journey from feeling alone, abandoned by God and feeling dark, I am now seeing the light and joy. I am sorry it has been so long and it won't be this long again. For now please don't leave any rude comments as this has been a hard journey, what I would care for is your prayer for continued joy in my life and the ease of letting God rule.

Have a blessed evening!